See, here's the thing, I've never actually bought swizzle stix. My knowledge of types, hybrids and THC-levels were limited to friend's and boyfriend's choosing. Imagine my surprise when I learned there were fruit varieties. BOOM.
Scene change to Blockbuster, that store where you used to go and pick out a movie. Before Netflix beat them into a bloody pulp.
Also, the problem with going to Blockbuster is that you have too many options, especially with a crowd of people. With men and women present, Love Actually got shot down very quickly, as did Alien vs. Predator--this was going to take awhile. We split up into groups.
|My Little Pony was a good time had by all.|
Carrie and I had roamed into the children's section and were seriously considering a My Little Pony movie when I reached for the movie to read the back cover and my hand met a soft plastic bag.
"Oh. Oh my god. Carr, look." I pulled the almost full ziplock bag off the shelf and held it in my hand.
Author's Note: I had absolutely no idea what an ounce of swizzle stix looked like. Nor its street value or accompanying prison sentence.
"Is that...Wow. I can't believe, I mean we're in the kid's section..." Carrie and I looked at each other and then back at the swizzle stix.
Carrie's boyfriend, who apparently had swizzle stix spidey sense, appeared behind us. "Let's go. Now," he said, while grabbing the bag out of my hands. He began walking towards the front door.
Carrie protested, "We haven't picked a movie and that's what we came for!" She stopped walking. I stood next to her. I also wanted my swizzle stix back but I figured we would discuss it in the car.
Carrie boyfriend stopped, grabbed Carrie and I both by our upper arms so he was slightly behind us, and began pushing us towards the door. "You don't understand what you found. Why do you do think you found that in the kids section? Either someone at Blockbuster sells and just put that out for a client, or that is where someone else likes to schedule pickups. You want to wait around to find out if he's friendly? Consider this a gift and move."
He had a point.
We went to the car, making no eye contact with the cashier by the door, and drove home without a movie. Once inside the apartment Carrie and I sat on the floor and started riffling through pizza delivery menus and the small selection of dvds in the living room. Carrie's boyfriend began weighing and sectioning off the swizzle stix in other bags.
"Cool. Haven't seen this in a long time." Carrie's boyfriend muttered. An odd fruity smell hung in the air.
Carrie rolled her eyes, "It's swizzle stix. You saw it Monday. Be grateful we found that. I still want a movie."
"No, you don't get it. Here." Carrie's boyfriend brought the half-empty bag up to us, holding it out in front of our faces.
I looked up at him. "Yeah. Seen it before. It's green."
Carrie's boyfriend rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly. "Jesus, nothing gets past you two! Smell it."
Carrie and I both leaned forward and inhaled the air near the plastic bag: It smelled strongly of blueberries. We both gasped, "It smells like blueberries!"
Soon after our other friends arrived, the pizza was ordered and since we could not decide on a movie, we choose one in random order: Cars the Disney movie. We decided to wait until the pizza arrived before taking our Blueberry adventure and watching the movie.
With our pizza in house, we started the movie and started passing around the swizzle stix.
|Just like Lisa, I was embarking on a brave adventure.|
We watched Cars twice that night. I cannot tell you a single character or scene. I assume there are cars in it. I sat perched on the arm of the couch for most of the movie, staring aimlessly at the tv. Smelling burning blueberries.
I sent out one-word text messages repetitively to my friend Olive. When I came home that night I had a piece of gum in my hair and glitter all over my chest. There was also an elaborate unicorn drawn on my torso in green sharpie--I didn't know any of my friends could draw that well.
|For when you really mean it, use the green sharpie.|
Why do you hurt so good, blueberry swizzle stix?
To this day I have never encountered blueberry or any other fruit-hybrid swizzle stix. But now I know they are out there. And you do, too. Maybe one day...
And that kids, was the day I learned there was different types of swizzle stix.
Say No to Drugs,