Hopeful Happenings in 2013 | Resolutions

I don't do real resolutions anymore. When's the last time you were able to accomplish something, repetitively, for an entire year? You are just setting yourself up for failure and a nasty self-evaluation come December 2013.

Ok, enough with that burst of sunshine, here are a list of hopeful things I would like to do in 2013:

1. Not be freaked out that there's a "13" in the year: Superstitions are silly. But I am still freaked out The Bloggess had a wonderful idea of calling this  year "The Library" because it's a safe, calm place. I like that. The Library it is!

2. Stop getting all worked up over petty bullshit: This too shall pass. Do I need proof? Please refer back to 2005 - 2007. Things get better and sometimes the bad things that happen turn out good, they just need a little time to develop. Breathe.

3. Put money in my Savings account: Don't buy stuff online. Don't buy new clothes. Don't send semi-threatening forwarded emails to Capricorn about how we can buy a Groupon to go to Paris. He is not shaken nor stirred by these semi-threatening emails, by the way. He usually replies to them with a very "meh" response. Or doesn't answer them at all. Bastard.

4. Do not freak out that my stocks have dropped 97% since last year: Who the hell buys Wind Energy?! This idiot, that's who. Hurry up, Obama

5. Find a job I really like: Or one that pays me so much I barely notice I hate it. Kidding, I really want one I like and doesn't make me feel like a trivial ass most days.

6. Be kind, but less of a pushover: You can be kind to everyone, but not everyone deserves much more than "Please" and "Thank You." I usually operate with the notion that people have much more going on in their lives than they let on, so you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes that puts you at a determent. I'm going to be more selective this year.

7. Continue to work out 5 days a week: Yes, I say this a little smugly. But hey, I worked for it. I've been doing this all 2012 and I plan to keep going. If I see you at my gym now and I still see you come February 1rst, then you've earned my respect. Otherwise, get you, your brand new workout clothes and your fair-weather attitude OUT of my spot at yoga. Namaste, motherfucker.

8. Stop saying "fuck" so much: I need to reign this in. I say it a lot. I love the word, but sometimes when I hear it come out of my mouth I cringe because I know it's being used so superficially.

• Caveat: I can say "Fuckface" all I want. I don't use it all that often and it's the perfect insult to accentuate your point.

9. Read more: I miss reading. The last thing I read for fun was My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, a collective book of female sexual fantasies. It's a very interesting read, but I miss getting lost in a world of fiction. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to comment.

10. This one has kind of been addressed, but be better at MAKING money this year. I was fortunate enough to actually sell/make money off a few writing pieces I sold this  year. It's a saturated, sticky market out there, but I want it, and I love it, so I am going to try and concentrate my efforts. Good luck to you, too, fair Blogger.

Besides, it's not fair to leave this half of our relationship primarily up to Capricorn. ESPECIALLY since (SPOILER ALERT) sometime in 2014 I'm going to become Mrs. Capricorn. It's true, I can never play this video and make annoying hand gestures at him ever again. He put one hell of a ring on it.

That's all I got. What are your 2013 (cringe) resolutions/promises? I'd love to hear from you.

Additionally, while "The Library" is a great, warm and fuzzy name, I would like to add another option: The Dollhouse.

The Dollhouse is where everything is new, it sparkles, and you feel a constant level of small panic by the people staring at you.

I just want to eat your face... I mean, love you.

Happy New Year,

Lady J

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